


No More Pretending

by ColdFront



Category: RWBY
Genre: Enabler, F/F, Half-Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-22 00:51:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17652869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColdFront/pseuds/ColdFront
Summary: Yang has carefully hidden her feelings from her sister for a very, very long time - but when Ruby goes missing on the way to Mistral, Yang has to confront some uncomfortable truths.





	1. Lost

When Uncle Qrow told me Ruby was missing, I didn't believe it. Ruby isn't the kind of girl that goes "missing." She goes exploring. She goes fighting. Once in a while, she bites off more than she can chew. "Missing" is a term for those who can't handle themselves, untrained combat-school students and pets that wander off. When I was six, our cat Jiji went missing and never came back. Ruby cried for days. I pretended to be stoic about it, but when Ruby wasn't looking, I cried even harder.  
  
My sister is not missing. She's off somewhere that isn't here, like my mom, but that's not the same. She's raining hell down on the Grimm with Crescent Rose. She's searching through the forests east of Vale for the right path. She's just... late. "Missing" feels like an ending, like Ruby's mother Summer, the one with a tombstone on the cliffs where Dad proposed to her. My uncle should have said "she didn't rejoin with RNJR after a battle and we're still waiting for her to get back." That's more like it. Not "I looked for her, and so did her team, and she's just gone, and we need to get the others back to Vale before we lose them too."  
  
This is bad. Images blur together, along with flashes of sensation. Tears in my uncle's eyes, terror written on his face, white knuckles around Harbinger. My dad holding me back by my shoulders as I start toward my bike, as I try uselessly to push him away with my one arm and my flailing stump. Dad's yelling at my Uncle - I only catch pieces of it. "You were supposed to protect her!" flies by with only dull interest from me - why was Uncle Qrow with Ruby, anyway?  
  
I find myself on my knees as tears fall to the polished wood floor in front of me. It starts to hit me, finally - maybe she's really gone. Not just in need of a rescue from Big Sis, ready with a motorbike and a snappy one-liner. Not going to walk through our front door with a silly, sheepish, beautiful grin and a "sorry for scaring you."  
  
Gone.  
  


* * *

  
I remember the day Ruby got into Beacon. She vanished then, too - she was supposed to be home on the last ferry from Vale to Patch around midnight. Dad came home around 1 AM, swearing into his scroll at some poor Vale Police desk representative. My stomach fell out the moment he came home alone, but I couldn't show it - not how I actually felt. I knew that the moment I started letting the mask slip, even a little, everything I yearned for would be written on my face and in my voice, and I would lose everything. As my dad was saying "she's my fucking DAUGHTER, what do you mean you can't tell me why she was arrested?" someone knocked on the door. I opened it, revealing my dad's friend Professor Port and the grinning face of my younger sister. Dad hung up without another word, stormed over to the door, and gaped for a few seconds. "What did you DO?!" he asked Ruby, then looked at Professor Port and demanded "What did she do?! I heard she got arrested!"  
  
Professor Port gave a distinctly satisfied smile, like a cat that had swallowed a whole flock of canaries. "Hoho, nothing so awful! Miss Rose actually performed an incredible feat of courage tonight! In fact, Professor Ozpin has recommended that she advance to Beacon Academy at the start of the next term!" Port said, practically glowing. "I have the full set of paperwork with me, and I have complete confidence she will do wonderfully."  
  
Dad glanced at Ruby, then at me, then back at Ruby. "Ruby... Yang... just... go to bed," he finally managed. "I need to have a long talk with Peter. And Ruby... I'm glad you're okay."  
  
No way in hell was I going to bed after that kind of night. I went to Ruby's room with her, and curled up on the guest bed like when we were kids and Ruby was scared to be alone in the dark. "Tell me everything!" I demanded, and she did - frequently with hand gestures and re-enactments of her more impressive moves.  
  
"And then... Ms. Goodwitch did a thingy to make clouds above the airship, and I shot it with Crescent Rose! But there was this really creepy woman up there that seemed to have a fire semblance. And she made the top of the building blow up, and she got away," Ruby finished, sounding a strange mix of excited and sad. "But now I get to go to Beacon with you! That's awesome, right?"  
  
"Yeah, it's awesome," I said, already knowing it wasn't that simple. "But two years early? Why did nobody let ME go to Beacon two years early? It's not like I can't beat up some goons trying to rob a store. Remember that jerk with the rocket launcher?"  
  
Ruby shrugged. "Professor Ozpin seemed really impressed. He said I was like Uncle Qrow."  
  
I thought about that a moment. "Yeah, I guess. Uncle Qrow and Ozpin go waaaay back. Ozpin's always seemed kinda scary, though... but it's super amazing that you impressed him! I know he's supposed to be really harsh."  
  
"Yeah..." Ruby looked thoughtful. "Hey Yang... you'll always be there with me, right? I won't be alone at Beacon?"  
  
"No, Rubes. You'll never, ever, be alone." _Even though it would probably be better for you if you were,_ I didn't say.  
  
I lay awake long after I heard Ruby's cute, gentle, snores next to me. I knew I shouldn't be around her. I knew that with every "I love you," and every "I'll always be here for you," there was another layer - "why can't it be me? Why can't you feel the same way? Why is it that every time I think about a cute girl, she has your beautiful silver eyes in my fantasies?" This was going to be trouble, and if I ever let her know even a little bit, I was lost.  
  
That was the rational part of me - the tough, badass, girl in control of herself and her emotions. The truest part of me, though, couldn't stop trembling in joy at the prospect of being by the side of the woman I loved - even if I could never show what that love truly meant.  
  
She would never have to be alone. I would be the best big sister ever, her best friend, her shoulder to cry on, her shield. And if that meant I would have to keep what I really felt on the down-low, it was worth it.  
  


* * *

  
I sit on the guest bed in Ruby's room, coffee mug clenched in my shaking hands. I close my eyes for a few seconds, calm myself, and re-open them.  
  
Ruby fails to miraculously appear on her bed. I guess it was worth a shot.  
  
I tell myself she can't be gone, but it doesn't change the basic facts - she is not here; nobody knows where she is; the last time she was seen, she was a week east of Vale and in battle with a group of particularly nasty Grimm. I lie to myself anyway, but it's not exactly convincing. In the end, the fact remains that I'm alone, that the only woman I ever loved is simply gone, and may never be coming back.  
  
And without her, I know I'm nothing.  
  
There's a knock on the door. I grunt and my uncle walks in, his eyes swollen and red, the unique aroma of whatever terrible stuff he drinks filling the room. "Get your gear," he says. "What? You mean we're...?" I stutter, daring for the first time to really hope.  
  
"Yeah," he replies, and he stands up a little straighter. He reaches for his flask, then stops himself. "We're going to go find your sister."


	2. Found

I can't even use my own bike anymore. That's how far I've fallen. Instead I cling feebly to Uncle Qrow as we blast through the backroads of eastern Vale. A light snow starts to fall as the sun goes down, and a few flakes settle in my uncle's hair. The thick clouds on the horizon, turned a dull orange by the setting sun, are a bad omen of a worse storm to come, and my stomach churns - I know that every moment Ruby spends in this cold makes it less likely we'll see her again.

Assuming she's not already gone.

That's a thought I can't accept, though, so I force myself to concentrate on other things. The snow and the freezing wind blowing by make me think of Weiss, and I find myself wondering what she's doing right now. I was never particularly close to her - not like Ruby was, anyway - and the silver-haired princess was always a little bit of a mystery to me. But even so, I could tell that she had a higher fate than the one her father planned for her, and I knew she was strong enough to embrace it.

Until Beacon, at least. But that changed all of us. Even me. _Especially_ me.

The memories flash, but only for a moment - I've gotten better about not thinking about it. My missing arm itches, though, and for a a moment I wish I could pull my real arm away from Uncle Qrow to scratch it. I feel broken. The girl who ran after Blake wasn't the same girl that Blake carried back - something more than just an arm was left among the chaos and the screams.

Memories flash unbidden again, this time of Blake. The pretty, sensitive woman who fascinated me from the moment I met her. I lied to myself, told myself that I loved her, and I probably would have ended up asking her to be my girlfriend if things had gone differently. In retrospect, it was doomed; I admired and liked Blake, but the things I thought I was falling for - the tenacity and toughness mixed with a raw need to be protected and loved - were the things that reminded me of my sister.

Except Ruby never ran away when things got hard. Maybe they aren't so alike after all.

Uncle Qrow says something - I can't make it out in the whistling wind, but the bike starts to slow down, so I guess we're stopping for the night. I sit down on the grass next to the road, and melting snowflakes soak through to my butt. I'm too tired to care. My uncle walks over to the edge of the forest, and with a wave of Harbinger, retrieves a couple dry branches. After a few attempts, and more than a little bit of swearing, he gets them to ignite, and sits next to me.

"Ruby disappeared two miles from here," he says, sounding as tired as I feel. "Tomorrow we'll get there, but it's on foot for the rest of the way. Keep your eyes open - this is beyond the usual huntsman patrol area, so we can't expect to be alone."

I nod, too tired and too numb to say anything.

Qrow stares into the fire, and takes a sip from his flask. "We'll find her. I promise we'll find her."

This one gets a reaction. "How can you know that?" I demand, whirling to face him.

Uncle Qrow pulls back, his face reddening. "What am I supposed to say? That I'm scared shitless I'm going to find a frozen body wrapped in a red cape? Is that what you want to hear, Yang?" He slams his flask down on the ground, and I can tell he's trying to avoid tears.

That doesn't mean I'm going to give him a pass on his bullshit, though.

"It was your job to protect her, Dad said," I say. My hands are balled up into fists, and I'm shaking again. "You made sure that every one of that team except my sister came back to Vale, didn't you? Why couldn't your buddies in the police airship help us search?"

He sighs, and picks up the flask but doesn't drink from it. "Don't you think I tried? They told me this area's off limits, and that they were already risking their careers just flying the evac." He stares at the flask a moment, then tosses it into the fire. It makes a popping sound, and steam bursts from under the cap. "Get some sleep, Yang. We have a big day tomorrow."

* * *

Losing an arm really messes up your balance. I did okay back at home, where the worst I had to contend with was a flight of stairs, but after the third fall onto damp, cold, ground, it was becoming pretty clear that stable walking on rough terrain is about more than just your legs. The fluid, dynamic fighter that I had been was gone, replaced by someone who was having a hit-and-miss record on keeping her ass off the ground.

I follow Uncle Qrow to where Ruby's team (he said it was called RNJR) had fought the Grimm. Scorch marks and rivets mark the ground. Shattered trees line the edge of the clearing. Spent shells, probably from Crescent Rose, lie scattered here and there. It looks like whatever kind of Grimm it was - and the Grimm were well-known to get bigger and meaner out in the wilderness - had given RNJR one hell of a fight.

Uncle Qrow scowls at the clearing, glancing over the furrows in the ground - trying, I guess, to piece the battle together in his head. "Jaune said Ruby climbed up that ridge to try to take a cleaner shot at the beast," he says. "That's where we start."

* * *

Eleven hours later, and with more than my share of bruises, we settle back around the campfire. My uncle had been sullen and quiet since the sun started going down, and sits next to me, glaring into the fire. His ruined flask, blackened and warped, rests under a new pile of burning dry wood.

"What's the plan for tomorrow?" I ask. We've been sitting here ten minutes and he hasn't done more than grunt. I'm starting to get pissed. "You _said_  we'd find her, Uncle Qrow."

He looks over at me, three or four emotions flashing over his face in the space of a couple seconds. He looks like he hasn't slept in several days - which, for all I know, is accurate.

"We keep looking until we find her. Do you have a problem with that?" he says. He reaches for his flask, then mutters something with a lot of consonants in it when he realizes it's not there.

Talking with him right now is like trying to convince a Beowulf not to piss on the grass, so I give up. "Suit yourself," I mutter, and lay on the ground, pulling my camp blanket over me. I look up at the stars and try to clear my head. The fire's glow is comforting, always has been, like I could see a reflection of my own nature in it. Even now, wreck of a girl that I am, I burn like embers - and even embers can burn you if you aren't careful.

* * *

Dreams bounce from place to place. The first is a classic - a faunus, made of steel and shadow, and a weak, helpless little girl. I briefly wake up from that one gasping for air. I see the fire is dying down, and that my uncle is sleeping sitting up and looks utterly ridiculous with his head lolling around, and I go back to sleep. Different nightmares play out this time - Ruby in Weiss's arms, Ruby alone in battle, Ruby telling me she thinks I'm sick and never wants to see me again. A new variation on the theme, Ruby Begs For Help While I'm Trapped And Immobile, begins.

"Yang, please..."

I try to move. It doesn't work. My body feels heavy.

"Yang! Uncle Qrow!"

Wait, my uncle's in this dream? Where is he?

"Please wake up..."

That's novel.

Oh. _Oh_.

I bolt upright. The fire has burnt down to embers, and the breeze is cold. My uncle is mumbling something in his sleep.

And standing in front of me, shaking and with blood smeared on her face, is Ruby.

* * *

What happens next is a blur. We wake up my uncle, who bolts for the bike like a man possessed. There's a brief argument over who goes back - but in the end, it's obvious; Ruby is too weak to travel that way, I have one arm, so he goes and we stay. I rekindle the fire. Ruby lays down next to it, and I give her sips from my water bottle, and bites from what rations we have left. She's badly wounded. Blood is caked on her top and her combat skirt, and splattered on her neck and face. She is pale, and desperately dehydrated.

And beautiful just the same.

She drifts in and out of consciousness - she's clearly exhausted, and I think she's only come this far thanks to adrenaline. I hold her hand, telling myself that it's a sisterly gesture. I check Ember Celica's ammunition for the twelfth time, but there continue to be no signs of Grimm; it seems like whatever JNPR did, it really cleaned the place up.

Dawn breaks. My sister stirs. "Morning, sleepyhead," I whisper, feeling content for the first time in weeks. Her silver eyes flutter open, and for the first time since she left for Mistral, I smile. I squeeze her hand tighter. "We'll be okay," I say quietly, and she smiles back.

An armored Vale Police Service airship appears on the horizon, and for the first time in a long while, I start to really believe things are going to be fine.

* * *

Ruby spent two nights in the hospital, and came home three days ago. She's still weak and pale, but has started to eat proper food and stay awake more than an hour at a time. The wounds have begun healing, but she's still exhausted.

I visit her as much as I can. I was tempted to sleep on the guest bed in Ruby's room, but I want to give her space to heal.

We talk a lot. I tell her about Adam - with anyone else I fall apart, but something about her calms me down. In return, I hear about her battle in the forest. She was tossed away from the clearing by an impact, was knocked out, and woke up alone and disoriented after the search-and-rescue airships had left. She had found us by the light of our campfire.

It becomes apparent that despite a few weeks of absence, and trials for both of us, I am very much in love with her - and I'm tired of pretending I'm not.

"Ruby, there's something I need to tell you."


	3. Epilogue

The sun of a springtime afternoon shines down on Ruby and I as we walk through the mountain trail. We're approaching some town called Kuroyuri; Ren and Nora seemed to want to stay away from this place, and Jaune decided to tag along with them, and Uncle Qrow is scouting up ahead, so it's just the two of us.

The spires of a ruined town start to appear through the trees. I have a bad feeling about what we're going to find there, but I know whatever it is, I won't be alone. I pause, wrap my prosthetic arm around my sister, and draw her into a kiss. We stay that way a moment, enjoying the warmth and closeness.

"By my side?" she murmurs as I hold her after breaking the kiss.

"Count on it," I say, and I smile. Whatever's here, we're ready for it.

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first attempt at writing Yang. Not entirely sure about it.


End file.
